Don't Be Hasty
By Jon Hawkins
This is the second of six articles on things I wish I had known walking into church revitalization. You can find the first one here. In the first article I argued for the importance of taking a long view. When I came to Arbor Drive, I was asked “why is it that pastors don’t stay long term and only last about 5 years”? That seemed to be a burning question for a few people and had I been more perceptive, I would have caught on to the fact that this church, like many has struggled with the plague of short pastoral tenure. In some cases, this has been due to the pastor leaving, in others, the congregation (or some in the congregation) forcing him out. My suspicion is that this is a common problem in unhealthy churches. In answering that question, I expressed my desire to pastor one church and love one people for the rest of my ministry. I meant it. I still do. But that desire has been tested in the furnace of affliction more times over the last 6 years than I care to count.
One of my favorite book series is The Lord of the Rings trilogy. My mom read it to me as a kid and so my affinity for these books predates the movies. While reading it, my mom would make up voices for the different characters and so those voices have been ingrained into my mind as I read the books as an adult. There is one character in particular that has been very helpful to me in church revitalization, namely Treebeard the Ent. Ents in the books are tenders of the forest and possess ancient wisdom that only comes from living as long as Ents live. Treebeard throughout the books often repeats his catch phrase - “don’t be hasty”. At one point, two hobbits are observing a seemingly endless council of Ents where they are seeking to determine how to respond to a threat on Fanghorn Forest. After hours, the impatient hobbits confront Treebeard and he responds “You must understand, young Hobbit, it takes a long time to say anything in Old Entish. And we never say anything unless it is worth taking a long time to say.”
Don’t Be Hasty
The second thing I wish I had known in the early days of revitalization is wisdom from Treebeard. Don’t be hasty. This relates to my last post, but I would like for you, dear reader, to consider this from a little bit of a different perspective. Yes, we can be hasty in bringing about change or maybe it would be better to say trying to manufacture change. But there are many other ways we can be hasty. Being hasty comes when we are driven by emotion. Now, emotions are good. God gave us emotions and God himself is a God of emotions. The fall however distorts emotions and can cause us to make rash or foolish decisions, like the decision to leave too early.
There have been more than one time (probably closer to about 20 times) over the last 6 years when I have, in the privacy of my office or home, thrown up my hands and said to myself, “that’s it. I’m done. This won’t get better”. There was a particularly difficult time during the first 4 years of ministry here where this was more frequent than I would care to admit. I was swimming in a pool of discouragement and opposition. A church boss was the chairman of the elder board and was opposing me at what seemed like every turn. My impulse was to be hasty. Grace carried me through and I was less hasty than I wanted to be but probably more hasty than I should have been in many regards. So what does this look like practically? I’m glad you asked.
Don’t flirt with leaving
I remember one evening after a particularly contentious elder meeting I went home, opened my computer, and started searching for pastoral positions at other churches. I was done. This had (to my shame) happened on a few occasions before. The first time, I quickly closed the computer, the second I looked at a few positions, and so on. So now I am sitting in my living room as my wife and children are asleep, I had found a position I wanted to apply to and I was editing my resume to send it. Thankfully, I didn’t. Without meaning to or even realizing it, I had fallen into the same trap that previous pastors undoubtedly had. I had flirted with leaving until that flirtation had almost given birth to abandonment. I’m not saying there aren’t good reasons to leave a church. I’m just saying I didn’t have any other than I was sick of fights and opposition. I actually called my previous pastor in frustration before I sent the resume and asked him “how long do the sheep rise up against the shepherd” (note the palatable self-pity). His response was wise, concise and cut me to my core. He simply replied “did they ever stop with Christ”? Ouch. Yet it was exactly what I needed. Ministry is hard, especially in revitalization. I don’t know why I thought it would be different. The refining furnace of affliction was for others, not me, or at least that’s what I thought. I was Timothy who was looking for any excuse to run and needed a Paul to say “stay where you are, man up, and do work” (my translation of 1 Tim 1:3). I noticed something in that moment. By flirting with leaving, it became easier to flirt and eventually act. Adultery doesn’t just happen. Leaving a church for the wrong reasons doesn’t either. It’s incremental. It’s slow. It’s born in the placenta of self-entitlement. I had forgotten what God had called me to and where he had called me to do it. His grace in that moment was a mixture of encouragement and correction. From that moment on, I have not looked for another position or at another church. I was hasty and it almost caused havoc for myself, my family, my friends, and our church.
Sleep on it
When we are hasty, we make decisions right away in the heat of emotion. Rarely are they good or necessary. There is a value to sleep. Sleep recalibrates our brains and cleans out our bodies. Sleep rejuvenates us and helps us think clearly. There have been many times when I have acted in haste when I would have done well to sleep on it. Thankfully, over the years I have learned this. Brothers, the critical email doesn’t need to be responded to right away. The critical comment or confrontational visit doesn’t need to be dealt with right then when your hackles are up and you are ready to pounce. Sleep on it. Once I learned this, two things happened. First, my responses were more gracious and thoughtful. They weren’t emotional and reactionary. Second, some responses never needed to be sent. For whatever reason, I didn’t feel the need to respond to a sharp critique that was unfair. It also gives you time to think through why someone might be saying what they are and assess whether you need to get at something deeper. I am increasingly convinced that there is nothing that happens in the church, no critical decision that needs to be made before a good night of sleep. And let’s be honest. This approach is an act of faith and rest in God. It’s done trusting that in our fallen state, when emotions are high and I am ready to go to war to defend myself, I might be, nay, probably am doing more harm than good. A good night of sleep has caused me to see things clearer, be more willing to repent where I needed to, and be willing to talk and be reasonable rather than hasty and irrational. Go to sleep.
The grass isn’t always greener
Haste is driven by the belief that if this one thing changes, everything will be better. It’s the old “grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” syndrome. The truth is, it never is. I was going through a tough time in our church and we took a vacation to visit friends from the church that sent us up here. I visited with the elders of that church who I know and trust and laid out my problems, thoughts and feelings. One wise man advised giving it 6 more months. Don’t be hasty right? His reason was simple and profound. “If you leave” he said, “you will be starting all over at day one. You have 4 years at this church. That’s 4 years that you would have to do over at a new church and the new church might not have the same problems, but I promise you they will have different problems”. Turns out the grass isn’t greener. I took their advise and over that 6 months, I saw change. I saw growth. I saw new families come in and the demographic shift. At the end of the six months, I found myself being thankful that I didn’t leave. Over that 6 months, I met pastors who are in struggling churches and who are facing problems that are different than mine, but problems none the less. The grass isn’t greener. Brothers, haste doesn’t often fix the problem because things are never as good as we imagine they will be if this one problem is eliminated from the equation. Don’t be hasty because whether it’s a problem in your church or you are thinking life would be better at another church, the grass is not greener in another pasture. The brown spots are just in different places.
Churches are broken… so are you
Early in my ministry here, I was hasty because I thought all of the problems were with the church… not with me. What I have come to find out is that God has been working on my issues as well as the issues of the church. Churches are all broken… and so are we. It might be, dare I say probably is the case that your haste is ignoring areas where God is growing you or where you need to grow. Like I said, I don’t think there are a lot of times when we need to be hasty and those times when we are should be reserved for earth shattering circumstances like a denial of the deity of Christ being taught or a belief that we are saved by our works. Short of heresy, don’t be hasty. Recognize that in this process, God is growing you and teaching you things too. It’s not just the church that needs to change. You do too. We can use haste as an excuse to ignore our areas of failure, pride or lack of trust. If everything is an emergency, nothing is. There is a humble patience that comes from an unwavering confidence in God’s sovereignty and promises. Through self-sacrifice and putting your flesh to death, God is making you more like Christ. I recently talked with a long time member after giving a seminar on church revitalization where I shared my assessment of the church when I came. This man told me after listening that he agreed with me 100% in my assessment and that he has seen a lot of that change, but he has also seen me change as well. Because you are broken and a work in progress, you might have to grow in an area before the church can. Therefore, don’t be hasty.
As Treebeard said “if we stayed at home and did nothing, doom would find us anyway, sooner or later. That thought has long been growing in our hearts; and that is why we are marching now. It was not a hasty resolve. Now at least the last march of the Ents may be worth a song…songs like trees bear fruit only in their own time and their own way: and sometimes they are withered untimely”. Not being hasty didn’t keep him from action. They moved against Saruman with haste once the decision was made. Not being hasty does mean that one should stop and think before action, especially when action has long term consequences. That results in resolve. Not a hasty resolve that withers quickly but a resolve born of steadiness and thoughtfulness of spirit.
“But I spoke hastily. We must not be hasty. I have become too hot. I must cool myself and think; for it is easier to shout stop! than to do it.” Heed the words of the wise Ent and don’t be hasty lest you have unintended consequences from acting in haste.
Editors Note: This article is part 2 of a series written by Jon called 6 Reflections on 6 Years of Church Revitalization. You can find the series of article here.
Jon Hawkins is husband to Carlee and they have three daughters Finleigh, Ainsley, and Olivia. Jon earned his Master of Divinity from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, and he is the Pastor of Arbor Drive Community Church in York, Nebraska.